Mistakes?

Imagine that you go to a store and while you take several items to the check out to buy, you also take an additional item out of the store in your pocket.  That you did not pay for.

Most of the time you get away with it.  Then when finally an attentive security guard notices you doing this, you pass the latest item back and say, “Sorry, must have been an accident, but your store is important to me, and I will do my best not to let that happen again.”

Then you continue with your shopping trips where you buy some stuff, and still take another item or two each time.  And why not?  The worst case scenario is that you’ll have to give it back, and more often, you’ll have made out like a bandit.

Which is why life doesn’t work that way - for you, the consumer, that is.

But it does work that way for corporations.  Every corporation.  And all the time.

Too big to jail.

Case 1:

You have only $50 in your checking account, but you thought you had $60. So you make a purchase of $5 in gas to see you through to payday. And pick up a gallon of milk and a loaf of bread for $4.50. Then you pay that $50.50 you owe to the pawn shop so they don't sell your grandma's brooch.

Then payday comes, and the $150 you got for you part time work at Walmart is direct deposited. Except your balance reads only $60! What happened? Oh, that was just the three overage fees your bank assessed you! Because you were $10 short!

How did that work? Well, it was supposed to work that the bank ran the first two minor amounts and they cleared, but then the last major amount did not, resulting in one $30 overage fee. Bad enough, but you'd live, and it was your fault anyway.

But what they "accidentally" did instead was let those charges pile up in the 24 hour period then selectively ran them through. The biggest one first, getting you that overage fee and wiping out your account. Then the next two small amounts, and since your balance was zero, two more overage fees!

If you know to complain, and are up for going in and sitting down with one of the "account managers" and have the time to do that and the education to lucidly make your case, great. If not, then tough luck!

Oh, and if you do make your case? Then they will apologize for that mistake, assure you that they value you as a customer and "refund" that which they never should have took!

Case 2:

You know you've been renting a few more movies than usual on On Demand, a television feature of Comcast. But you're surprised when the bill comes in and it's $33 more than you expected! But hey, you did watch a lot of movies, so who knows, just pay it, right?

But if you look into it, if you take the time to call in, be on hold, deal with "Joe" from "Chicago" who sounds suspiciously like Kumar from Mumbai, you'll find out that you watched three of those movies twice and had one NSF fee!

The NSF fee? Oh, they "accidentally" ran the automatic billing through one day early, and it naturally didn't clear, you not getting paid till the day you said, not the one day earlier! The watching movies twice? Oh, that was when you made dinner, and when you came back the "pause" had gone off and when you clicked to "watch" again it re-charged you for the same movie!

If in paying a bill that - like phone bills - is always mysteriously fluctuating each month you just pay it without checking, they get that extra $33. If you do catch it and call and deal with being on hold and persuading Kumar that you didn't truly rent Sharknado III twice in one evening, then they will apologize, assure you that you are important to them, and refund that money that they never should have took from you.

No, not be actually refunding it. But by "applying" it to next month's bill. Letting them keep that $33 in an interest bearing account for thirty days. Which times millions of customers adds up to a heckuva a lot of interest.

Case 3:

The phone company. Any of them. Need I say more? Data overage fees, roaming fees, interstate fees, the ABC fee, the late fee, the NSF fee, the upgrade fee, the whatever they can get away with fee, including that thing where you were placed on the next higher up plan, and then there's a fee to go back to the original plan.

And if you keep great track of your phone bill each month - er, "cycle" - they'll go over all of it with you and grudgingly (but oh so politely) in the end refund that which they never should have took. But you will have to endure them trying to upsell you. And they will argue each fee and such with you, to fatigue you into just paying the extra $5, $15 or $50.

And in the end, they will assure you that they value you as a customer, and hey, they're going to apply that extra on next month's "cycle", right? Of course. After - like the cable companies - thirty days of that sweet, sweet interest.

Case 4:

You told Planet Fitness - or any other fitness club or service that bills monthly - that you no longer wished to be a member. But surprise, they billed your card again the next month!

Oops, did you forget to write them a letter cancelling your membership? Or to come in person to discuss it with their staff? And did they forget to make that clear from the start, and bury such grifts in the fine print?

In this case, you probably won't get your money back even if you do catch it and "go over it" with them. This is the case where catching it and complaining only means that they won't do it the next month. It won't mean you get this month's back.

Case 5:

Your insurance claim finally cleared for that break in you had last month. You're already outraged at their "replacement value" and "depreciated value" clauses that insure that you'll only have about half the money needful to make yourself whole. Guess you should have got your MBA and took seventeen insurance classes to catch what all those polysyllabic words in the 22 page contract meant.

But then you, since you're a nerd, notice that some of the figures seem a bit off. You look closer, cipher each out, and realize that in 7 different instances an "accidental" juxtaposition of the figures resulted in they paying out less on each of those seven items than they should have!

And in an 8th case, the same error, but in your favor. The seven errors in their favor are each for double digit figures, adding up to over $170. The error in your favor is for $6.34.

You bring it to their attention and they apologize for their error, let you know that your premium is now tripled and refund you that which they unjustly withheld from you. And usually aren't polite, since they don't want you as a customer any more.

Now. Do you see the common denominator in all these diverse cases? Fitness clubs, insurance companies, banks, cable service - and more, as I didn't mention internet providers or subscriptions or such - what do they all have in common?

They all pretend to make "mistakes" which cost you money. Yet as Ayn Rand once said, "Mistakes of this size are never made innocently."

And here's the thing about mistakes to remember. If they are mistakes, then you may safely apply the rule of 50/50. In other words, if a company is making ten mistakes, you'd expect, on average, that five would be in their favor....and five would be in YOUR favor!

Yet rarely, if ever, does that happen. Instead mistake after mistake, accident after accident, misunderstanding after misunderstanding results in you being not nickel and dimed, but Granted and Benjamined out of your hard earned money!

Each time they are caught they only pay back what you caught them at and nothing more. Each time it is they who get the massive amounts of interest that comes from doing this on a nation wide scale each month. No security officer would believe it if you made a "mistake" each time you shopped that just happened to benefit you. And no consumer should be dumb enough to believe these corporations who are well known for making mistakes in their favor - yet never in your favor.

Or have you heard many stories about the bank that accidentally forgave your mortgage arrears or the cable company who gave you extra channels for free or the phone company who gave you the largest data plan for the least price? No? Yeah, neither has anyone else ever.

All this is wrong, it is not an accident, and it needs to be punished by law. But like the thieves at Wells Fargo who brag in their commercials about how they're nobly going to give the stolen loot back (only after they were caught), there will be no CEO, shareholder, executive or manager harmed in that restitution.

This is a scam. And it's a scam done on a massive scale, and supported by a judicial system far more concerned with any $4.50 retail theft you pull off once at a grocery store than a $4.5 million theft done to you and millions of other consumers.